I received this very kind and passionate comment on a post here and I wanted to share that along with my response.
"Shannon,
I am the person who initiated the Friends of Kensi and Grace group. After reading the original email you posted from a person who received the mailing and the comments posted to date, I want to clarify some unfounded assumptions that unfortunately have been reached. First of all, Barbara Baker had nothing to do with the initiation of this effort. In fact, when first approached about the idea she expressed reluctance and continued to do so until the week of the mailing. The brochure was designed without any input from her and to my knowledge she didn’t see it until after it was finished. She also did not spend one penny of her resources for the mailing. I personally paid for every expense associated with the printing and mailing.
It saddens my heart to see the words, exploit and exploitation, appear in the commentary on your blog. The mailing was done from a heartfelt Christian perspective of helping someone in need, not exploitation of Kensi, Grace or their friends. The mailing went to a limited number of people, primarily to some members of two churches. The response has been very positive. Some of the donations have been accompanied with very sweet notes expressing their love and best wishes for the girls.
In closing I want to address the comments made in your 7:08pm post last night. Speaking for myself (and I’m sure for many, many others, including you), I do want what is best for the girls. I have not been brainwashed and am not being taken advantage of. I’ve known the Baker family for over twenty years. They are honest, hardworking, caring Christian people who have been a blessing to my family and many others in this community. I sincerely believe they will do a good job of raising Kensi and Grace and leading them into adulthood. These young ladies have already experienced more trauma than most of us have experienced in a lifetime. Adding an additional trauma by uprooting them from the community where they feel secure because of the wide and deep support system they have here will serve no purpose. I’m praying that something can be worked out between the two families. All we can do is pray and know that God is in control of all things and His will shall come to pass.
Posted by Founder of The Friends of Kensi and Grace to Don't Even Get Me Started at May 6, 2010 12:25 PM"
My response:
I very much understand and fully believe that you approached this venture from a heartfelt Christian perspective. I do. But I do not think you are seeing the whole picture.
Kensi and Grace were traumatized when their Father (a Baker) killed their Mother. To pretend this didn't happen is more trauma. To keep them in a family where they pretend the man given 65 years is innocent and getting out any day now heaps even more trauma. To pretend that their Mother committed suicide when she was murdered and taken from their world by their Father heaps trauma upon trauma upon trauma. When does that stop?
You may know the Bakers, but do you know the Dulins? They were an integral part of their granddaughters lives until Matt Baker killed Kari. Matt Baker not only ripped their daughter from this world, but with his parent’s help, removed their granddaughters from their lives. Can you imagine such pain? And for what purpose?
The following isn't something I've heard Oscar or Barbara Baker's supporters be able to say. And it is vitally important: “ Matt Baker killed Kari Baker, Kensi and Grace's Mother....Linda and Jim's daughter.....Adam's sister.” Tell me, how healthy is it for two little girls to stay with the family whose son murdered their Mother, ESPECIALLY when they will not admit the truth? This is just NOT okay. How can the girls grow up healthy and whole when they are being fed lies? Kari Baker loved her girls more than anything; she would have never left them by her own choice. Kensi and Grace need to be in an environment where they can be reminded of their mother’s love! This is just NOT okay. Barbara continues to say that Kari was despondent and depressed and even that suicide was a good option for her in "her condition." Yes, she did. Well, twelve jurors heard all of the evidence and decided unanimously and overwhelmingly that she wasn't depressed and despondent and that she DID NOT take her own life. So, what does that say about the nature of Barbara Baker? Why would such a good woman continue to vilify her dead daughter-in-law?
I am sorry but I do think the flyer is exploitation and some people that received it have contacted me and are upset. And I don't doubt that people have sent contributions feeling that they are in some way helping Kensi and Grace. I love that Kerrville is filled with people that love the girls and want the best for them and pray for them as we do here. I don't doubt that for one minute. I don't fault your motive or any givers' motives for for doing what they hope will help the girls. You say the Bakers were reluctant to have this mailed. Well, I received a copy of one of their first letters asking for money. Matt was quoting scripture. Praising God. Oh, yes....and asking for money. And who signed this letter with Matt? Barbara, Oscar, Kensi and Grace. He had those little girls (even younger at that time) put their little tiny childrens' signatures at the bottom of it. Sickening. I see a bit of a pattern here and it tells me that they may not be as reluctant as you think they are. I believe you truly believe what you say. I have seen this from the beginning. I saw the good people of Kerrville being scammed by a sexual predator and murderer....and now his Mother "doth protest too much." I do not think she is the woman you portrayed in your comment. However, I will not say more than that.
Something here just isn't right. If you really search your heart, I think you will see it. Clearly, you are a good woman who believes she is doing the right thing but I think you are incredibly wrong. No, I know you are incredibly wrong. I believe with all of my heart, that for healing to take place, Kensi and Grace must come HOME. They must come back to the family whose lives they were intertwined with before their Father murdered their Mother. They must get REAL counseling where they can learn the truth, accept it, and love their Mother.....and their Father. I know the Dulins well enough to know they will do whatever it takes to help their granddaughters heal. They LOVE their granddaughters enough to forgive and focus on their healing. I don't see that in the Bakers.
Thank you for sharing and your honesty. I return that courtesy to you with this response. There is so much more I could say. Not only have I uncovered a great deal just by going to the courthouse for myself, researching and having copies made of documents.....but I have also made many friends in Kerrville over the past few years. I have learned much from many sources. And I will use the forum of this blog to continue to uncover injustice. I still see it where Kari's daughters are concerned.
Edited this morning to add a comment left on the blog early this morning. I wanted to add it to this post here so it wouldn't be overlooked. Thank you, whoever this was. To those who support the Bakers fight for custody:
I don't think any of you are crazy or brainwashed but, I don't get it. I don't understand how anyone who truly loves those girls could keep telling them that their Mom killed herself leaving them to go to their dead sister? Like Kari picked Kassidy over them? NEVER!
And if you still think Matt Baker is innocent, tell me HOW? Do you not see how many totally unrelated strangers from all parts of the state and country would have had to get together and concocted a story, then perjured themselves in a court of law for Matt's story to even ring partly true? Why would they do that?
Do you not get that every person who knew Kari, EVERY PERSON, except Matt, says she was not depressed. NOTHING, no e-mail, no note, no plan, no
conversation, NOTHING in Kari's life pointed to suicide outside of Matt's story and a unsigned gramaticaly incorrect typed note.
Aside from all that, can you not see that Matt's version of what happened that night is IMPOSSIBLE? Not only could Kari's death not have happened the way he said, from what he said, in the time he said, but Matt himself could not physically have done the things he said he was doing at the time.
The thing you have to understand is that no one wanted to believe that Matt killed Kari. No one. It's been a 4 year nightmare. But the facts, they just didn't add up. With that note, Matt's weird behavior after Kari died, his impossible whole-filled account of that night, his multiplying lies, horrible things surfacing from his past....Matt left us with no other option. NONE! He killed Kari and then he took her girls away from their lives.
How can you think that living with the Bakers, the people who want the girls to think their mother left them, the people who perpetuate Matt's lies everyday, the people who try to slander Kari's good name are a good for Kensi & Grace? How?
Despite what you believe or want to believe, do you realize how much more harm YOU = you personally, will bring to these girls by helping the Bakers if
you are wrong? If you are wrong the girls entire life in Kerrville is based on a lies. Knowing, as we all do, that the truth always comes out, can you imagine how horrible it will be for those girls to learn that the people who raised them were lying to them and everything they thought was true isn't? No matter what your feelings are towards the Bakers, are you willing to risk that for these two little girls who have lost so very much already?
Maybe you don't know the Dulins, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that they are and will be the best family for Kensi and Grace. They can give them a great life and bright future, without handouts might I add. They are Christian people who love God. They are successful, stable, loving people who will fight for what is right and move heaven and Earth to give Kensi and Grace the very best life possible! Our community will also do whatever we can for Kensi and Grace, just as you in Kerrville have done for these last 4 years. Those girls are so loved and continually prayed for by multitudes of Kari's friends and family.
That's what the main point of getting justice for Kari was...to let her girls know what really happened and to give them the best life possible. We owe Kari and her girls that. To love Kensi and Grace, we know how important it is to let them love both of their parents, as hard as that might be. Tell me, do the Bakers let the girls love Kari?
Please, please, please, step back and really, really think about this. AND please pray for God to honor only what is right and true in Kensi and Graces lives. Surly that is a prayer we can all share.
PS none of my questions were meant to be rhetorical. I really would like to know what you think.
Posted by A friend of Kari's to Don't Even Get Me Started at May 7, 2010 12:52 AM
Feel free to discuss any of this in comments below.
