"A Saturday Adventure"

One of Kari's childhood BFF's, Jill Valentine Hill, sent this to Linda recently. It is a paper she wrote back in her Freshman composition class at MCC. Linda said, "You can just see them both in this and it describes Kari so well." So at her request and with Jill's permission, I give you:

A Saturday Adventure

I was in the sixth grade and had spent the night with my best friend, Kari Dulin. It was now Saturday and we had the whole day to play together. Kari had always been a free spirit with no concept of time or space. In contrast, I was always the careful planner, mother hen type.

Kari was the one who came up with the idea which sounded good at the time. We would ride her bikes to go visit my boyfriend, Whitt, who “just lived down the street,” Kari told me.

I should have known from the beginningthat this trip would be eventful, when I had to crawl up on her parent’s car to get up on her father’s ten speed bike. Bear in mind I was 4’4” and weighed 70 pounds. Kari hopped up on her proper sized bike and away we went. The first thing I noticed was that the neighbor’s two dogs were following us. I was terrified of big dogs, but had made friends with these. Pedaling was proving to be a problem for me, even on the level street. I could only reach the pedals on their upward rotation and anxiously awaited each time they would circle back within reach.

I was finally getting the hang of it when we decided to walk our bikes and catch our breath. We must have been gone for a least an hour by this time and I asked Kari, “How far is it to the end of the street?” To this she replied, “We’re almost there.”

Suddenly we looked back and saw a terrifying site. Legions of dogs were headed our way. Not only were they barking, they were running toward the bikes and chasing our two female dogs. There were dogs of every kind, from Butch, the Patterson’s three-legged mad dog, to Miss Molly’s teacup poodle, to Dr. West’s three large Dobermans. Added to these were wiener dogs and unidentified mutts of every description.

My heart was pounding as I knew I had to mount the tall bicycle to escape the dog
brigade. I had to think fast. There was no car to crawl on. After several unsuccessful attempts, with the adrenaline pumping and dogs now approaching, I finally reached the seat by stepping up on a curb.

After several minutes of make-do pedaling, I realized that the large crowd of dogs were interested in our female dogs, not in us bicyclers. We finally reached our destination after about a three hour trek. When we went inside to see my boyfriend and his sister, we were told we must leave. Their strict mother would soon be home from work.

We headed back home to Kari’s by the same route. Unfortunately we couldn’t coax our two dog friends to follow. No doubt they were exhausted from the chase. So Kari and I make the trip unaccompanied. About half way home, my bike got a very flat tire. We called my Mom from a friend’s house to come get us. She was furious, having wondered where we were all day. Riding “down the street” to see my boyfriend may not have been such a good idea after all.

They say it's your birthday..........

It just dawned on me that we both have birthdays on the 13th of the month. I used to think it was so spooky funny when my birthday landed on a Friday the 13th. Can't have bad luck on your birthday, right?

Well, it's another birthday in Heaven for you, Dear Friend. I imagine you and Kassidy and your Grandmother having one heck of a celebration together up there today. Know that your Mom and Dad, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and Kensi and Grace are thinking about you with love and missing you like crazy. One day we will all celebrate together again!

For more Kari birthday love, check out previous birthday posts, photos and comments:

Thoughts of Kari on her Birthday - August 13, 2009

Birthday Thoughts - August 13, 2008


And for some laughter-and-tears memories, check out the Come on....Share a Memory page.

Kari Humor =)

Received this email yesterday from a dear, close friend of Kari's. With permission, I share it with you here. Put a big smile on my face.....and chillbumps while I was laughing out loud.

"Like I said, Kari and I were very close friends. We both moved and lost contact with each other. I only learned a year ago what happened to her. So I recently took a trip to Waco. I hadn't been there in 10 years. I wanted some closure to our friendship, or maybe just something that proved to me that she was really gone, so I decided to visit the cemetery. It took me an hour (even with directions) to find the spot. I walked around in the Texas summer heat! I could practically feel Kari laughing at me. When I did find "her", I stood peacefully for about 45 seconds trying to feel close to my dear friend. Out of the blue, the sprinklers turned on and literally drenched me from head to toe! An all-out forceful spray of water right at me! Of course I screamed and ran away. And then laughed. If Kari was there watching me, and I believe she was, I know she was laughing at me. I also think she was telling me that I don't need to go to a cemetery to feel close to her.

She is right in my heart, forever. Just a reminder that Kari is still with us."

I have to add something that just tops it off perfectly. This close friend had plans to meet Linda for lunch. And she did. Soaking wet. If Kari was laughing before, she was certainly ROFL at this. ;)

Gatesville High School Pageant

Kari's cousin, David, emailed me a couple of pictures from a Gatesville High School pageant that Kari was in. She was a freshman. David a sophmore. The GHS pageant had representatives from different organizations in the school and they were representing the speech team. In the first photo, they were "nerdy debaters." LOL


Thanks, David, for another "blast from the past." I know that Kari's family and friends will love the memory and those that didn't know Kari will enjoy seeing yet another wonderful part of Kari's gregarious and active life.

A couple more pictures.......

.......from a dear friend who loved Kari dearly. Thanks Jill for the memories of you, Kari, Carrie and friends. (circa 1990-91)

Memories from a Dear Friend....

One of Kari's dear, close friends left some memories of her times with Kari in the "Share your Memories of Kari" area of this blog today. I am putting it here in a post to make sure everyone gets to read it.

"Janelle said...

My memories of Kari: We met in a sign language class at Baylor. We became friends very quickly. I visited her church and shortly afterward, I became the music minister while she served as the youth minister. We did many projects together. She also sang in the choir that I directed. She and I sang duets as well as performed songs in sign language.Kari always had her daughters decked out in the cutest clothes. She handled them with such a calmness and a bit of sarcasm thrown in for sanity's sake.Anytime there was a gathering at her house she served hot dogs. Always hot dogs. She claimed that everyone liked them and they were easy to serve.

Kari introduced me to up and coming praise music. We listened to the same 2 CD's for 2 years learning every song by heart.

I was with Kari the first night Kassidy was in the hospital. I remember that she left Kassidy for about an hour while the two of us went to the grocery store to buy groceries for a needy family that the church knew of. After leaving the groceries at the family's house, I remember eating taco bell together at the hospital! I was so amazed at her strength and faith. She was out helping others in need with the constant faith that Kassidy would be cared for. I believe I was one of the first people she called the night Kassidy passed away. I will never forget that phone call. There was nothing I could do to ease my friend's pain. I loved the way she helped explain it all to Kensi.

Kari became pregnant with Grace a month after I got pregnant. We even had the same doctor. We shared all of our aches, pains and complaints as well as our TUMS that we ate like candy for the heartburn. We even shared maternity clothes. She was excited to have Grace.

We were student teaching at the same school during our pregnancies. Neither of us enjoyed our student teaching and took turns crying to each other. We got each other through the semester, no doubt. We also took one night class that semester and carpooled together. We had to do a skit in front of the whole class (Kari was an amazing actress. She wasn't afraid to do anything!) Needless to say, we played the parts of pregnant women in that skit.

I was a first time mother and my daughter was born exactly 1 month and 1 day before Grace. Kari was so calm and relaxed. She knew exactly what she was doing with baby Grace. I panicked. She always let me know that stuff was "no big deal" and offered advice.

Kari would talk with her hands and her bracelets would jingle. Her hair was always so cute. I was envious because I could never wear my hair that way. She laughed a lot. She was very friendly. She was a hard worker and a good student. She always accomplished whatever she put her mind to. She was a good singer. She was good at sign language. Motherhood was her passion. She knew the Bible and I admired the knowledge that she had. She was compassionate. She'd cry with people over their burdens. She was one of those rare people who would ask about YOU, not just talk about herself. No doubt, Kari had a heart for Jesus.

She is in Heaven with Kassidy and constantly watching over Kensi and Grace. Nothing would be more important to her. I bet she sings with the Angels and cracks them up with something funny now and then.

I miss her very much. I always had hope that we'd be back in touch and keep our friendship going. I guess I have to wait to see her in Heaven."

Thanks so much, Janelle! What a precious friendship you two shared.

If any of you have memories to share or even have shared some and want to share some more, please feel free to do so anytime! The "Share Your Memories of Kari" link is always available in the right-hand column above the closed poll thing. Thanks! I'm sure these memories are so precious to Kari's family.

I want people to know what a great person Kari was...

I received this very heartfelt, beautiful email from a friend of Kari's today. With permission, I want to share some of it with you. It, among other memories shared here, helps paint the portrait of the precious life of Kari:

Shannon,

I have been reading your blog for a while and have wanted to write you many times but it never felt like the right time. I have known Matt and Kari since the spring of 98. At that time Matt was preaching at the church I had attended on and off. The first time I met Kari I feel in love with her. Her personality, the way she carried herself, of love of life just attracted me to her.

Yes, I had a relationship with both of them but the real relationship came from Kari. She was the "big sister" I never had. No matter what she was going through, she always had time for me. She never treated me as this little kid but as a person she cared for. After Kassidy died our youth minister left before we were suppose to go to camp. Without even hesitating Kari agreed to become our youth minister and take us to camp in Glorieta New Mexico. That trip with her, I will never forget. I really saw Kari's love for what God wanted her to do. Not many people could have put up with 15 kids, 13 of the junior high. I teach JH right now and there is no way I could have done what she did. I really got to know Kari during that trip. We talked alot about life, friends, family, and Kassidy. She knew that she would miss Kassidy always because a part of her was gone, but she understood that the Lord had a reason. She said it took her a while to come to that but she would look at Kensi and knew that she needed to take care of the precious angel she had left.

Then when she found out she was pregnant... that was funny. She came out to my car as I was getting to church and she told me she had some big news for me. She told me she was pregnant. I just looked at her because I wasn't sure if she would be happy about that or not because she said she didn't want a baby. She told me that at first she was really scared about having another child but she said it was meant to be. She told me from day one that she would call her "Grace" if it was a girl because it was by the grace of God that she was pregnant. She loved her girls oh so much. She would call me and tell me any crazy thing they did, and with Grace there was always a funny moment. She was so proud of them.

True, Kari was a hard person to crack. She, like myself, put up a wall to protect herself. We talked about this from time to time and we realized in our minds that we did this to see how bad people really wanted to get in. If you didn't care enough to try to break through the wall then maybe you didn't deserve to get inside her. Anyone who broke through and got to know Kari was never the same. I know I haven't been.

Even through our relationship started out as "preacher wife/youth" it was never just that. She became my best friend. She welcomed me into her family, trusted me with her kids, gave me a couch to lay on and vent, and a shoulder to cry on. She always wanted what was best for anyone she knew and she would do whatever she could to help that person. I had her as a youth minister and a college professor. She taught me more than she would ever know and stuff that I am just now realizing. She was my rock and I regret not telling her everything she meant to me.

When Kari died part of me died. Then when the allegations against Matt came about after I saw things with my own eyes, more of me died. I was so depressed that I almost didn't graduate college. I missed her so much. I tried to talk to someone but how could they understand what I was going through. The knock on my door the morning she died forever changed my life.

I want people to know what a great person Kari was. I want people to know that this world was such a better place with her in it. I want people to know that Kensi and Grace have so much of their mom in them. I have no doubt in my mind that they will do great things when they grow up because of their mom and what she gave them in just a short time. See Kari may be gone, but she lives everyday in those girls. Her DNA is in them and for that I know they will be ok. I want the world to know that no matter what may happen in the courts, Kari lived her life to the fullest. Understanding that life is short and don't ever regret what you could have done something about. Kari left impression on my life and I am forever grateful. I want people to know that we can make sure Kari still leaves an impact on this world by passing on what she gave us. I want people to know that Kari Lynn Baker was not only my friend, my youth minister, my teacher, but she was always so much more. She showed everyday how God used her. She lived her life for him and there couldn't have been a better person to display his great gifts to us then her. What a special angel we have in Heaven watching over us!

Jenny

Thank you, Jenny!

Sharing a memory....

I received this memory comment today from one of Kari's sweet friends:

I have so many memories of growing up with Kari. Sunday afternoons, riding horses, watching dirty dancing, fighting for the same boys, sleepovers and staying up all night giggling. I’ll never forget making up a silly dance with Kari to “Ghostbusters” and putting on a show for Linda.

We lost contact in adulthood, but the deep core of who a person is never changes. She was beautiful, smart, loyal, optimistic and vibrant! She was a good friend.

The day my mother told me the news about Kari, I knew instantly there was no way Kari would ever take herself away from her family and children. No matter what, no matter how hard or difficult things may have been, I know Kari always found the bright side of life.

She was a bright shining star. I am so proud of the Dulin's for persevering and not giving up. Anyone who knew Kari knows better than to believe Mr. Baker's lies and deceit. I will pray for the family and count the days until justice is served.

Bless you, Shannon, for this blog and a giving people who love Kari a place to share our precious memories. I'm so grateful to have shared my childhood with Kari.

Carrie

Sweet Memory Comment....

I received this sweet memory a few days ago. Wanted to make sure it wasn't missed. Thanks, Jill!

With school starting, I wanted to share a few memories in honor of Kari. I taught in the room right next to Kari's. I could often hear Kari and her class through the walls. You could tell when she had done something funny, her whole class would erupt with laughter.

I can still see her flip-flopping into my room (with her Reefs on)and talking with her hands, her bracelet just a jingling! She was often excited about something.

We got together with a few coworkers to exchange Christmas gifts. She had picked out a gag gift for me. At school the children have to walk quietly in the halls. We call this "Panther Pride." She gave me a pair of GIGANTIC red underwear that said, "Panther Pride" on the bottom. I found them in a closet a few months ago and laughed out loud.

Jill

Couple of New Memories Shared.....

These two people left memories in the Come Share a Memory comments. I like to bring these to the top to share with everyone.

"Matt Baker was a pastor at my church several years ago - North Lake Baptist church - and I got to know both Matt, Kari, and their wonderful little girls. I taught during sunday school on several occassions and had their oldest in the class. Kari was always smiling and had some much wonderful things to say. She also taught a series by Beth Moore and had us ladies learn so much during her lessons. She also spoke about Cassie and how God had given her Gracie, not as a replacement, but as a wonderful gift. She said that initially she did not think that God would take her little girl because she was different, she was a Christian, but it happened and sometimes bad things happen to Christians. It was hard getting through this and she still misses her, but she had grown through this experience and I think by her going through that - it made her appreciate life and her family.

I could NEVER imagine that Kari would have done something like this. Actually, I did not even know about this new information until this past weekend when my mom said she saw matt on tv giving an interview and how guilty he looked.Kari was the type that would give you her shirt off her back. I remember when I told her that I was going back to school to be an elementary school teacher, she said that she wished she could give me her degree so I wouldn't have to take all the classes.

Kari was a beautiful person inside and out!!! We will miss you!!!!"

and another....

"Hi, my name is Valerie and I knew Kari from when they were at Northlake Baptist Church in Dallas, Tx. I always thought she was the sweetest lady. Always willing to lend a helping hand and I could tell she just adored her two little girls.

When I heard about what happened I was shocked beyond belief. Kari would never do that I thought! I hope justice is served to Matt..."

2 Sweet Memories...

Two sweet memories were left today that I would like to highlight.

My name is Tina Turk Billiet and I went to High School with Kari her freshman and sophomore years in Gatesville. Kari and I went to church together as well. My father was her pastor. I have many memories of Kari and all of them are of how enegetic and fun she was. I, as well as everyone who has written their memory, also feel very strongly that her death was not by her own hand. It's just a feeling but a very strong one at that.

The memory i have to share is one that involved a youth trip that we took with our church. There were only a couple of us that went on this trip, and that's what made it so fun. We ended up staying in the fellowship hall of a church in Ft. Worth, Tx. It was just for the weekend. Our youth pastor's father was a pastorof this church. The fellowship hall led into the huge sanctuary and we had access to it. One night we were soooo bored that we decided to go exploring. The sunday school rooms were in a basement underneath the sanctuary. The building was built pretty interesting. Well, as you can imagine the entire place was completely dark. We couldn't even see our own hands in front of our faces. After we explored the basement, we ended up in the sanctuary. And that was dark as well. However, we did have the advantage of the red glowing exit's signs on either side of the platform. We decided that it would be a great idea if we all played hide and seek. No we were not babies but I know I felt like one after a couple of minutes of playing the game. Yes, I was a complete wimp. There were only 2 guys with us and the rest were girls, Kari included. Now, if you have ever played this kind of game in a dark sanctuary then you know how scary it could be, especially with 2 guys determined to scare the complete devil out of you. I destincly remember hiding under the sound board for the sound system of the church. This was in the balcony. Yes, this church was that big. Like I said it was in Ft. Worth. With me under the sound board was Kari and another girl that was with us. We were all squashed in there like sardine's and we were all completely soaked with sweat. You really get to know someone real well in that kind situation. All 3 of us did not care because we all had the mind set of not getting caught by one of the guys. That was there mission of course and we were determined not to let them get the best of us. We all know that it's always girls against boys, especially during that time of our lives. I can't remember exactly who won the game but i do remember the 3 of us trying to communicate to one another through sign language. We were trying so hard not to talk and that was very hard for us. Kari kept laughing and it seemed very hard for her to keep quiet. I kept trying to keep her quiet because I did not want to get the you know what scared out of me and I did not want to let the guys win. They had a way of gloating about it when they did get us. this memory was not neccessarily spectacular but it is a memory.

And now, more than ever I am very glad I have it. I have read most of the memories on this web site and I am so thrilled that Kari has touched so many lives. She was a very special and beautiful person. When I last saw her, it was my 10 year high school reunion in Gatesville, at a football game. There were tons of people around and I didn't even see her. The next thing I know my name was being yelled and when I turned around I saw her. I went over to hug her and be introduced to Matt and her oldest daughter. Her daughter was about 2 at the time. I remember this very well because she was literally crawling all over Kari. We started a conversation up and it involved Kari telling me that I was wasting my time on a guy I was dating that we both knew. Looking back, I never dreamed that my last conversation with her would be of her counseling me about some guy. I wish I could go back and replay that conversation and learn more about her life as it was. But in life, we don't get those opportunities. And in hindsight, we wish we could go back.

Kari was your basic enthusiastic, beautiful, encouraging, life loving, devoted and inspiring friend. I feel very blessed to have kinown her, as well as I look forward to seeing her again some day. It breaks my heart to know the kind of pain that she suffered. She never deserved any of it. However, I take comfort in knowing that she is not suffering now. She is now with the one and only man who always loved her so completely and so purely. She is now with Jesus Christ and I know without a doubt that He is holding her close. There is no pain for her now. There is only peace and love, something we all need in this life. And something we, who are left behind, can hold onto. I do hope justice is served, mainly for Kari's girls sake and for Kari's family.
Take care and God Bless. Tina

AND...

I babystitted Kari and Adam for many years. She was a wonderful young woman who to me was the epitome of what a strong, good hearted woman should be, even at a young age. We stayed the summer in Lubbock and we three bonded in that little apartment while Mrs. Dulin was working on her master's. Kari and Adam were why I always wanted to have children. It is very hearbreaking to hear about this and to see the family go through this. Kari, you will always be in my heart. Mrs. Dulin, Jim, Adam, and Kari's children, you all are in my deepest prayers. God
bless you and give you strength. Know that you will meet again in a better place. For now, you guys stick together and know you are so deeply loved.

Remember Me?

Just bringing these to the top.
Click here for the original post/story/pics.

Yet another wonderful friend....

The "Defense" keeps claiming Kari was depressed, sullen and didn't form deep friendships. Nice try, guys. It sure doesn't sound that way from emails I've gotten and from comments left here......oh, and knowing her personally. Another friend says:

I would just like to say that Kari was a really good friend of mine. Matt was the pastor of our church, and Kari and I got to know each other very well. We hung out all the time, and we were always with the girls. I loved Kari and Matt both dearly. Matt even married my husband and I. I have had a very very hard time with this over the last two years. I just can't get her out of my head, as hard as I try. I am torn. Matt married us, and did premaritial counseling with us. The more I read and hear, the more I wonder if he really did kill her. I don't know for a fact whether or not he did it. All I do know is that I love Kari still to this day. She was a wonderful woman with such a vibrant spirit. As much as I miss her voice and her face, I am so glad that she is now back home with her daughter whom she missed. I know that her other two girls are very strong, and even though they probably miss their mother very much, I know they will be ok. Thank you for this blog and the oppurtunity to talk to others who miss Kari as much as I do. I have thought for a long time that I am the only one who feels like this. Thank You!! I love you Kari, and you are greatly missed!!

Posted by Anonymous to Don't Even Get Me Started at February 26, 2008 2:19 PM

Another memory shared....

I am an old friend of Kari's! She was sweet enough to hang out with us '94's even though she was already a cool '93 grad. I will never forget riding around in her maroon car listening to music (I still hear those songs to this day), her life guarding days, house sitting The Silver's house, Blake's crush on her & Kari & Todd's relationship. We were inseperable. Who could ever forget that laugh?

I will tell you that I am sad that as we grew older that we lost touch. But, with the grace of God I ran into her just before she died. I am so greatful that I had that last moment with her. I will also say that Kari was a STRONG individual. No matter how much sorrow you saw her showing, that was only natural. We are not put on this earth to bury our children. Anyone who thinks it odd for her to show any sorrow on the anniversary of her daughter's death has no heart of their own. Take it from some one who knows. I take care of 2 little girls who no longer have their mother to do so. The affect it has had on us all is amazing. I could not even imagine what it was like to have been in Kari's shoes! I loved this girl & miss our old days.

Kari, I know that you are watching all of this from above. I know that your name will have justice & glory after this is all said & done. Believe me, all that condemn you, will pay. Your daughters will know the truth in time. Those who condemn you today, will pay later. I know you are in good hands today, and with that thought, I have peace. I pray for your family's strength to carry on this fight for you. Love & hugs to you!

Posted by tap to Don't Even Get Me Started at February 23, 2008 10:45 PM

"Come Share a Memory"

Another sweet memory shared. Thanks, Jill & Joe.

Kari was one of my best friends growing up. In fact, there is hardly a memory of my growing up years that does not include her. Kari was full of life, even as a child. My memories of her include countless sleepovers and slumber parties, church camp, church plays, and lots and lots of laughs. My most favorite memory is of a time we rode our bicycles across town to visit a friend, I believe we were in Jr. High. She gave me her dad's bike (on which I could not reach the pedals) to ride. For some strange reason, the neighbor's dog followed us. By the time we reached our friend's house, every single dog in town was running behind us. We were laughing so hard we fell off of our bikes! I think of her often and pray that justice will be served.
Jill

Posted by Joe & Jill to Don't Even Get Me Started at February 22, 2008 11:56 PM

Got a memory to share? Tell us about it here.

My "Why?"

This was my response when asked last December, "Why did you start the blog?"

I started this blog strictly for Kari. My son was in her 3rd grade class at Spring Valley when she was killed. Of course at first we (the parents) were simply told she died in her sleep. Then within a couple days the suicide rumor started its course. I grieved thinking that this woman that I saw 5 days a week when I picked the kids up at school...and that spent more waking hours on those days with my son than I did...was hurting THAT bad and I didn't know it...didn't feel it. But it was just another few days when I "knew" in my heart that she did not, in fact, take her own life. Nothing added up right. And I felt it. For some reason, ever since then I felt Kari's hand on me. That's just the best way I can describe it. It's as if she wants me to "Hang on. Wait with me. The time will come when you can do something." And that's kinda weird. We weren't terribly close in an intimate friendly way. I didn't really "know her" outside of school. Our relationship was built around my boy and our joint venture in his education and well being. She was a phenomenal teacher. And she loved my boy. And for that, I loved her.

When the inquest was going on and then with the judge changing the finding of death from suicide to undetermined, I started getting phone calls and stopped by friends and family about whether I "had heard" or knew anything. People knew/know that I was very personally interested in this case and that I'm an information junkie. If there's information to be had, I'll find it. I got busy. I wanted to know everything. To satisfy my organizing of the information and to share that information with others, I started up a plain-looking little blog. I had tinkered with blogs in the past and it was a quick and easy thing for me to start up. So when my family and friends asked me what I had found out recently, or had I seen the latest TV news interview, or what was going on....I simply had to "link" 'em up. Even though I knew it was a public blog, I thought it'd be lost in the huge world wide web and basically only those that I linked to it would even notice it.

I remembered writing my thoughts and memories down in notes and/or emails to a friend around the time of Kari's death and then again here and there when a tough moment would arise or a new event in the case happened. So I looked on my old computer and there they were. For cathartic reasons, I put some of those on the blog. I also added some memories that my son previously shared with me about his teacher. Within a couple of days of sharing personal things, some of Kari's family and friends found the blog and left a few comments and wanted to know who was behind this blog...that they found it such a blessing. I had never had occasion to meet Mrs. Dulin or anyone else in Kari's family (other than Matt and the girls). I had never had any correspondence with anyone involved until after I started this blog and then we connected in that way. I've emailed a few times with Mrs. Dulin since then and she has told me that my memories and stories on the blog give her joy, laughter and tears....good tears. She has told me that she re-reads and re-reads the following memory:

Quoted from the blog entry:"Remind me to tell you about the time........We were both worried about Bro's TAKS test stuff. We both knew he could do it....but were worried about his motivation to get through it as he should. Did I mention that she loved my boy? We worked together and worked together getting him ready. Literally. Worked. Together.

One day after the reading TAKS results had just gotten in and letters had been written to the parents but not mailed yet.....she was sooooooo excited to share with me that she knew Bro had not only passed, but passed WELL.......I was in the lunchroom with other parents that went in to pick up their kidlets and make eye contact with their teachers and try to keep up with the pulse of things. I saw Bro's class come out of the hallway. THEN.....I saw Mrs. Baker see me. She had a piece of paper in her hand. We made eye contact and she "lit up." Then............she skipped across the lunchroom to me. She didn't walk. She didn't glide. She didn't stand there with other teachers and just wave to me. She. Skipped. With that giant "Kari Baker" smile. She loved my boy and she loved and taught him so well he rocked that freakin' TAKS test. She was beaming. I was beaming watching her beam over my son. Now....right now...I'm a cross between beaming at the memory, crying that she's not here, and anger.....and now a bit of relief."

When Kari's Mom tells me that she can actually visualize this moment and can totally see Kari doing this and how she loves that others can also now "see Kari" in this way through my words....and that that makes her smile....well, I felt the beginning of........"the time will come when you can do something."

A few of the memories I've shared here:
Some old emails from the week after...
Reliving a memory...
My Sweet Boy

***I will update in a little later on how the blog has grown and morphed and become so much more than I intended.

Note: This is not the Q&A for Texas Monthly. That was very similar, same basic info, but in Q&A form.

Come on....Share a memory

I would love it if you guys that come and read and visit Kari's blog would share some of your memories of Kari...not only with me, but with any family and/or friends that might be reading along as well. Feel free to comment anonymously if you wish. Just share those memories. If you want to add your name, wonderful. Or even if you want to let us know a general "title" of who you are...for example, family, co-worker, church family, friend, parent of a child she taught, went to school/college with her....that would be nice. You don't have to keep it to one memory. Come back and share more as you think of them. Or comment off someone else's comment if it reminds you of something. Funny. Serious. Spiritual. Educational. Crazy. Let's make this post and comment section a sweet and voluminous tribute to our memories of Kari.

Who's first? ;)

"The Big Chill"

Kari was killed late Friday, April 7th of 2006. This was the weekend before Easter weekend of that year. She was buried on Monday. I believe the girls were back to school Tuesday or Wednesday. Then it was Easter break.

In the past the teachers always make little treats or whatnot for their students on major holidays. I knew my son's class, still reeling from the shock of their teacher dying and gone forever, wouldn't have Mrs. Baker there to do this for them. I wanted them to have a little something like all the other classes in the school would. A permanent substitute wasn't in place yet and I didn't know if whoever was watching their class would do anything. I was my 1st grade daughters room mom and had made 20 little treats for them and sent them with her that morning. I still had the stuff in my car and enough left over to make 20ish more. So I sat in the parking lot of the school and put them together quickly.

I went into the office and asked the staff if I could get these to Mrs. Baker's class. I was standing at the secretary's desk with my back to the door. Someone walked in behind me and stood to my right while I continued talking to one lady. Another lady behind the desk picked up the phone to call teachers to send the Baker girls to the office, that their Daddy was there to pick them up a little early. I froze. A chill went through my entire body. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I felt nauseous. Seriously at the time, I thought it was just a gush of grief and empathy that a man whose wife (which happened to be my son's teacher) just committed suicide was standing right next to me....most likely completely broken-hearted and in grief and turmoil but having to suck it in while he picked up his girls from school and faced people that worked with and knew and loved his wife. I couldn't speak to him. I didn't know why but I couldn't.

Now, I know what that nauseating, hair raising chill was. Evil. Pure evil was inches from me. And I felt it.