FLASHBACK: Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Flashback to August a year ago. Notes I left myself.

Last night was Blast Off at our school where the kids see their room and find their desk and meet their new teacher. (and parents fill out 30 minutes of paperwork, yeehaw)

Dh was working a little bit late but planned to meet us there. I got there right at 5:00 to beat the crowds. Met Prissy's new teacher. She's a dream. Made sure (on the sly) that she knew Sabrina was doing first grade a second time and she was like "no prob....I know....Sabrina, come and play......." Perfect.Met Bugman's 4th grade teacher. Loved her. Really. Then Chris showed up. So we went (again) to meet Prissy's teacher.........then Bugman's new teacher. We then went to visit "old" teachers. Went and huggerbugger'd Prissy's teacher from last year. It was so sweet and full of memories.

Brody watched quietly. Then Brody said, "I want to go see Mrs........uhm......Mrs....:::hesitation::: Cox's room, yeah....or Mrs. Cox....ya know...her room?" I know. Mrs. Cox is the sub that came to save the day the last month of school.I thought I would be fine. It was cool. Time had passed. But when I turned the corner in the hall.........saw the first room on the right........I was taken back to last year.

When I met Mrs. B for the first time.Walked into her room and saw this bubbly short-haired blonde teacher with the biggest smile. We chatted and found out that we graduated from the same small private school in this small town. She exuded confidence as she told us about her speech and drama background and that she was a reading specialist and was so looking forward to her first year there at our school. Loved her from minute one. And she loved my boy. I walked to the doorway of 'her' room, and couldn't go in. Just flashback from last year. I could almost see her walking around and then looking up to greet me. I. Almost. Could. I just gripped the doorjam as he went in to see his "teacher" from last year. It was all I could do. Just when you think you've overcome something..........BAMMM! I'm so freaking thankful I don't have to walk down near that "hall" this year.

Remind me to tell you about the time........
We were both worried about Bro's TAKS test stuff. We both knew he could do it....but were worried about his motivation to get through it as he should. Did I mention that she loved my boy? We worked together and worked together getting him ready. Literally. Worked. Together.

One day after the reading TAKS results had just gotten in and letters had been written to the parents but not mailed yet.....she was sooooooo excited to share with me that she knew Bro had not only passed, but passed WELL.......I was in the lunchroom with other parents that went in to pick up their kidlets and make eye contact with their teachers and try to keep up with the pulse of things. I saw Bro's class come out of the hallway. THEN.....I saw Mrs. Baker see me. She had a piece of paper in her hand. We made eye contact and she "lit up." Then............she skipped across the lunchroom to me. She didn't walk. She didn't glide. She didn't stand there with other teachers and just wave to me. She. Skipped. With that giant "Kari Baker" smile. She loved my boy and she loved and taught him so well he rocked that freakin' TAKS test. She was beaming. I was beaming watching her beam over my son. Now....right now...I'm a cross between beaming at the memory, crying that she's not here, and anger.....and now a bit of relief.

I've felt Kari's hand on me since she passed. I don't know exactly why or what I'm to do to help. I'm just doing what I can do for now.